I was forced to go to a Christian church today with my mum. She insisted and I allowed it. When we arrived there, she found a seat to sit in a few lengths away while I remained standing in my usual spot in the back. In front of me was a baby, small child, probably not more then 1 and a half years old. I felt that she was different, untainted by the world still. She kept pointing to my sides, to the corners to my left and right and every now and again to other places about the church. She wasn't looking at the people. It was as if she was trying to show me something. Entities that only she could see. They were not there to do me harm those entities, she seemed to like them and I liked her and she me so it was fine. Others came and took places next to me and the baby didn't seem to see them much anymore and wouldn't point to them as much. It was as if they had become obscured and halfway hidden. Afterwards my mum and I ended up at Fuddruckers and I confessed. I told her of my wants and desires. I said to her that I was one day going to leave civilization and I told her about otherkin and angels and reincarnation and how society and modern humans hinder it all. She explained something to me that was quite shocking.. I always knew that she never took care of me when she was pregnant. My father and her led a.. an extravagant lifestyle. Always partying, drinking, smoking, and she never drank water. My grandmother was dying at the time. My mum had a vision one night. She saw a bright light [God, she claimed] and my grandmother on her bed at the hospital. My grandmother said to her, "I'm okay, I feel better now. No more pain." She then felt something very real, I was flipping over and over in her stomach and after that stopped I began to kick. I was dying within my mother and my grandmother sacrificed her life for me. She retold the story of the healer that she went to see and how he told her that I was special, that I was meant to do something big. Strange. My mother is still so obtuse like the rest of hte world and yet she helped me get closer to where I want to go. I bought a book on shamanic journeying with a CD included. I'll be using it more often to find out more about myself. The parts that are missing. Tags: closer
Current Mood:  contemplative
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cyrus_mint's journal
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